There’s this hashtag trending on Instagram right now and it’s #balance. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but it seems to be the word that’s thrown out there every time someone does something off their plan, whatever that may be.

I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news here, but most of the time, balance is bullshit. I don’t totally understand how nobody else hasn’t pointed this out, but here’s my opinion. Te most common way I see people use the word or hashtag balance is to describe having a treat or cheat meal as some like to call it. I think if you check my Instagram I may have even used the misleading hashtag in the past.

So here’s my example, some really thin, buff fitness girl on social media will throw up a post of her holding a cupcake up to her mouth and say something like, “I eat healthy most of the time and enjoy a treat when I want to #balance.”

UMMMMMM, sorry, but look up the definition of the word balance! It means equal, as in it needs to be the same on both ends to balance out. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to know that you can’t possibly eat as much junk food as you do healthy food and stay fit and thin. I mean I guess if your some sort of circus freak you can, but you won’t be healthy.

Now maybe you’re reading this and you’re one of the people who does these “balance” posts and you’re saying “why is this bitch freaking out over something so stupid, it’s just an expression.” First off, I’m not freaking out, I’m just stating the obvious. And second, I take my job as a fitness coach seriously. Not like I think I’m saving the world seriously, just I know people are counting on me for information and help seriously. And while the people who claim balance might know that it’s really not balanced, there are people out there who are reading these posts and really don’t understand how to lose weight who might actually take you seriously. But more importantly, there are other ways this is used that I think is more of a problem.

There is No Such Thing as Balance When You’re a Mom

Okay, here is my other pet peeve for how the word balance is used. People use the balance expression when defining motherhood. If you really think that there is going to be some sort of way to work balance into being a mother then please do not have kids. I love my children to death but there is no freaking way I am ever going to have a balanced lifestyle between time for my kids and time for myself. I don’t even have time to pee, never mind enough time to myself to call it balanced, Shit! I don’t even get enough time to sleep! And showers? I have a friggen audience!

(If you want to join a no judgement community of real moms, join my free moms facebook group here.)

Why it Bothers Me

This one I do feel is a big deal and I need you to understand why. There are so many images on social media of the perfect mom. The one who totally looks like she has her act together- hair on point, the most stylish up to date outfit, killer body, heels so high she can dust the top of the blinds without a step stool. All while taking care of 8 kids and a set of twins. She posts a picture of herself out doing her errands and getting her nails done, sans kids, in her if looks could kill outfit, and she says something like, “A day out by herself for this mama becasue I do so much for everyone and it’s all about #balance.” And you’re reading this and your like, balance? I’m just trying to shower!

(Check out my blog Don’t Let Social Media Define Your Self Image as a Mom)

Postpartum depression is real, and mom guilt is real, and feeling like you have no sense of self identity is real. And when you are feeling like the shittiest mom in the world who can barely find time to balance her checkbook, never mind her life, it can be really shitty to see these misleading posts.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it is impossible to make yourself look nice and do something for yourself once in a while. In fact, I almost always do my hair and makeup and wear a nice outfit. But that’s because it’s who I am. I am a shallow bitch who cares about her looks and since I’ve always been that way, it’s easy for me to put that piece of my life together. But then there’s other areas that I completely lack in. Like trying to get anything done while the kids are awake.

And I do have some tips on How to Feel Less Like a Mom and More Like Yourself, but in the meantime, you need to realize that there is absolutely no such thing as balance when you are a mom. Literally no such thing. Those little minions suck the life out of you and leave you with nothing to yourself. Seriously, trust me on this one. So if you believe for one second that those moms have their act together, then you are extremely gullible. These moms are either full of shit or they have a nanny. In which case someone else is taking care of their kids and there is no balance there anyway.

But think about it this way- do you really even want balance as a mom? I know I don’t. Sure I would love to be able to go get my nails done once every two weeks or be able to eat a cookie in peace without someone stealing it out of my mouth, but that’s why I hide in the pantry and eat. But as good as those things sounds, I would so much rather give my kids every second of my time and attention. When they get older and I have no more little kids running around, am I going to remember the balance I had in my life or the time I spent with them? So please, don’t read into this balance bullshit. It’s just not possible for all areas in your life. And again, if you want to join my free moms group, you can do so here.