Let’s talk about today. We’re on our second birthday party of the day, third one of the weekend, and my son is running around my cousins house like a nut, and I’m yelling at him like an even bigger nut. So I had to make myself take a step back to remind myself that he’s only like that because he had wayyyy too much sugar today. And who’s fault was that? His, obviously. I mean, I didn’t put the fork to his mouth. Lol, just kidding. It was totally my fault.

Here’s Why…

He had a piece of birthday cake and a juice box at the first party, and I don’t even want to talk about all he ate at the second party. In all fairness, I did monitor what he ate, and I did tell him no for a lot of things, but some days, you just need to let them have some cake. But then you also need to have some patience. Which I’m working on. I don’t have much patience.

On days like today, I definitely don’t feel like mother of the year. In fact I feel like mommy dearest, giving my three year old sugar and then yelling at him for not being able to control himself because he had said sugar. To be honest with you, there’s more days I feel like I’m losing the mom game then I feel like I’m winning at it.

This is just one tiny example of how I feel most days. If you have kids, you probably can relate. You’re also probably wondering why I’m telling you all this.

Here’s Why…

As a fitness coach, I work closely with a lot of moms (my coaching services come free when you make the life changing decision to commit to one of my programs). And also as a “social media influencer” who shares my opinion, I have a lot of moms who reach out to me about a lot of things (not just fitness related things). Often times, these moms say they feel like “bad moms” for one reason or another.

(Join my free group on non-judgemental moms here.)

Some feel bad because they feel like they are always yelling (welcome to the world of having a toddler), others feel bad because they either couldn’t or chose not to breastfeed, while some just feel like they can’t be everything to everybody (because you can’t), and therefore don’t feel good enough either.

And Here’s Why I’m Sharing This…

I share this because I know there is someone out there who needs to hear it. Somebody who feels like they are the worst mom in the world right now, who could really use reassurance that they are doing things right.

Here’s a few things for you to remember:

1- Having a toddler sucks. Just kidding, that’s not really number three. But really, I love my son to death, but having a toddler is tough. The terrible twos started around 18 months old and are still going strong at 3+ years old. I feel like I yell and scream at him more than anything else. And of course that makes me feel like a bad mom. At the end of some days I actually want to start crying because I feel like I was so mean. But then I talk to other toddler parents and even my parents about me and I realize that everyone feels the same way. I also realize I want to raise a respectful gentleman and that means staying on top of him while he is learning and growing.

2- You may not get 100% of the decisions regarding your kids right, but as long as your truly doing what you think is best for them at the time, then you are winning. And always remember, FED IS BEST.

3- Just because you can’t do everything for everyone, doesn’t mean that you aren’t everything to everyone. I promise you, that your kids love you and look up to you more than you know, and no matter what, you are their everything.

One Last Thing…

Social media does not help anybody with self image these days. Whether it be body image or how you see yourself as a mom, comparing yourself to what you see on the internet is never good. You may have heard of the saying, “don’t judge your book by someone else’s cover,” and that couldn’t be more true of social media.

Social media is mostly a fun, happy place (although now it is getting very political on facebook). It’s not a place where people air their dirty laundry. What you see from your friends and other big social media influencers that you may follow is what I like to call their “highlight reel.” They only post the pictures that portray them in the most flattering light, literally and figuratively speaking. I guarantee you that one fabulous picture you see of them in their feed was the best one of over 50 pictures that they took of that one moment. And then it went through all kinds of photo enhancements and filters.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not faulting anybody for not wanting to put an unflattering picture of themselves out there, I’m just telling you why you can’t compare yourself to them. So when you see that picture of the mom without one hair out of place, her hair perfectly done, in her high heels, pushing a double stroller with another baby attached to her hip, smiling for the camera, and all her children behaving, please know that is NOT her reality 99% of the time.

So please, cut yourself some slack today and everyday. Know that you are doing a great job, even if no one tells you so. Be your own cheerleader, and reward yourself for a job well done. But most importantly, when you put your kids to bed at night promise you’ll do these two things:

1. Try to focus on all the good things that happened that day instead of dwelling on what went wrong.
2. Take the time to see yourself through your kids eyes. I bet if you really noticed the way they looked at you, you would know you are doing ok.

Again, if you want to join my free moms group, you can do so here.