Like most pregnant moms I used my pregnancy as an excuse to eat anything and everything. And I mean everything. As the extra 40 pounds began to pile on I justified it with my pregnancy. With my ever expanding belly and massive amount of other changes happening I felt like I wasn’t living in my own skin anymore. So what was a few extra pounds?

It wasn’t until after I had Joey that reality set in. I was no longer carrying around my excuse for my weight gain, my exhaustion, my not feeling like myself. I tried to eat right but I had acquired so many bad eating habits that it was hard to change. It started to take a toll on how I felt. I reached out to family and friends for support. People told me it took 9 months to get that way, give it 9 months to take it off. I know they were trying to help, but all I heard was you are going to be fat, unhappy, and unhealthy for the next 9 months. It made me feel worse.

Lately I’ve been seeing an abundance of new moms reach out on social media sites and groups asking for support and advice for getting the extra pounds off. Other women are answering by telling them to love their bodies the way they are, or to appreciate the fact that their body was able to produce a miracle so stop complaining that it changed. And while I completely agree that as women our bodies do amazing things and we should always love ourselves and our bodies, that response does no one any good. Just because you tell somebody to love themselves doesn’t mean they can automatically do that.

And since when did wanting to lose weight mean you don’t love yourself? Losing weight doesn’t always have to be for cosmetic reasons. People lose weight because of health issues, energy levels, and so much more. I give new moms a lot of credit for realizing they need to take care of themselves before they can care for anyone that is dependent on them. As someone who was in these shoes I can tell you I did it to help with feelings of postpartum depression, to gain more energy and be less tired, and overall, to be the happy mother my child deserved. If this speaks to you in anyway, please keep reaching out until you find the support you need. Know you can reach out to me anytime. I am always here for you. You don’t have to do it alone.